security… Security… SECURITY!!

For the last week of my FTE research I loaned myself out to the Event Staff of the Western States Youth Gathering in Anaheim, CA. The Safety and Security folk scooped me up and so I’ve been working with them. I’ve never done “security” before, and it’s been pretty interesting. Because it means I have a precarious relationship with the youth. In their minds, for all practical purposes, I’m the bad guy. I hate being the ‘bad guy’…

What does my job entail? Patrolling the events/workshops for good behavior. Helping in the case of an emergency, particularly medical emergencies. And making sure kids keep curfew and are where they’re supposed to be. Now, I did not realize that the job would entail making sure kids didn’t fight in line at the Dance Dance Revolution arcade or that I’d have to be “that” adult at the dance that kept kids from grinding a little too closely. I also had to kick random hotel guests out of our rooms because they were trying to get friendly with our girls…

I didn’t want to be too strict, because that’s just really not me. I mean, I will let you know what needs-be-- no doubt-- but I don't want to be hypocritical. I don't find lots of things to be too damaging or harmful to kids. But, I also needed to do my job and make sure everyone followed the rules. Which meant that for the most part, the kids responded well to my proddings. As I was doing my rounds after hours last night, I ran into LOTS of kids partying outside in the hallways. I had empathy for them—I was right there when I was in high school… But, I just asked them to keep it down and to get to their rooms, where they could stay up as long as they wanted for all I cared. I said I knew they just wanted to hang out because they weren’t tired yet, but I just honestly said, “Hey, I’m just doing my job. Don’t make this difficult for me. I’m not gonna go find your youth directors, just get to your rooms and you can hang out all day tomorrow when the Gathering goes to the beach.” And surprisingly, (actually, not so surprisingly) they listened. One girl whined, “Ugh! You’re being so nice about it! So now I feel guilty… And I still like you even… “ haha… That made me feel good. Like I said, I want them to be where they’re supposed to be, but I don’t wanna be the bad guy—though I will be if necessary! (Which I was a couple of times with lurking guys who kept creepin on my high school girls!!)

I guess this just goes back to what everyone this summer has said about effective youth ministry—that young people really do appreciate boundaries. Tough love is quite effective. And taking the time to listen to them, even if the end result is still you telling them to move their butt, goes far in their minds. They might even still like you when it’s all said and done! :o)

Never too old...

Today was my last day at CCLM—it’s been a great week! I stayed for a big celebration they were holding for their adult learning students in their Plaza Comunitaria program. Today, 44 adult learners receive scholarships from the Mexican consulate in recognition of their achievements through the program. The programs included literacy classes (in English and Spanish), computer classes, and other skills. With these classes, adults can achieve certifications awarded by the Mexican government, that they can take back to Mexico with them. Thus they can go back to their country better educated and able to find better paying jobs.

It was a pretty big deal! They had a representative from the Mexican consulate, the superintendent of schools in San Bernardino, and guests from the Mexican government (in Adult Education) attend the ceremony.

One of the guests, a woman from the Mexican government in the Education Department, for adults, said that to go back to school as adults was an extremely brave thing to do. She said that it takes courage to seek out to learn what is unfamiliar and to work to better oneself. She said that what was most important about these adult learners was that not only were they bettering themselves, but that they were making life better for their families, too. She said that when kids see their parents taking classes and dedicated to being their best possible self, it inspires children to do the same. It’s a powerful motivator for families.

I tend to agree. When young people can see their parents attempt to break the cycles of oppression (poverty, lack of education, language barrier, etc) they start to see the possibilities of the future. They start to have hope… (And let me tell you, some of the kids at the ceremony were SOOO proud of their parents up front getting the awards—they cheered the most!)

someone to talk to

Yesterday was quite the day for me. I had the opportunity to volunteer at the clinic. At first, neither I nor the family nurse practitioner in charge had a clue what I should do. I didn’t really know why I felt like I should be there for the project, except that I knew it had that new program for sexual and reproductive health for young people. So I went to see and learn about the clinic and the people they serve.

Well, Candace, the FNP, decided I could sit in on the visits, as long the patients said it was alright. All of the visits/consults were in Spanish and they were all with women. I was struck by a common denominator among the women, most of them had physical symptoms and ailments that were the result of (or enhanced by) living particularly stressful lives. Stress was taking a physical toll on their bodies and health. Just another reminder that we are holistic beings…

What impressed me the most, though, was Candace’s presence with the patients. She was so attentive, caring, and compassionate. You could see it on her face and in her eyes and hear it in her voice. One could tell she was in this business because she loved people and cared about their well-being and health. What was interesting to me was that though what she was doing was clearly a ministry, she told me she didn’t believe in God. Hmmm…

Anyways, I think the Spirit moved me to be at the clinic that day for more than just the chance to see clinic visits. One woman came in with multiple ailments, and as Candace asked about her history and living conditions she learned that the woman was in an abusive marriage. Candace told the woman, Ricky,* that a pastor was visiting the clinic for the day and asked if she’d like to talk to her… So, I was approached and asked to talk to the woman. Wow.

The next 30 min turned into my first ever pastoral visit done in Spanish. My heart hurt for this woman who was caught in a destructive marriage of 16 years, with 4 kids, and who was bound by a family and culture that told her it was her job to keep the family together. She was hurt, sad, frustrated, and most importantly lonely. I let her tell me about her story, her kids, the marriage, her lack of support by her family, esp her mom, and her hopes and goals. We talked about her needs versus the needs of her children. She wanted what was best for them, above anything else.

I assured her that I knew that was true. But, I also said that she is the most important teacher and role model for her kids, and that they see everything (even more than she thinks they see)! If she herself is unhealthy, lets herself be manipulated, controlled, and isolated, and doesn’t strive to achieve her goals, then that’s the environment her kids will grow up in. She said she didn’t want her kids to feel as lonely or as helpless as she does… We then talked about resources and help she can get.

There were times when I was terrified. Mostly because, as in any pastoral visit, I felt pretty helpless. Despite the language thing… The other thing was, that I had to come to terms with the fact that she will only get help so far as she is ready, and I can’t push to make that go farther. I didn’t want to be judgmental, or try to tell her that I knew what was best for her or her family. I tried to listen and to show her options, give her resources—since that’s what she said she felt like she didn’t have. I hope she makes a call or attends one of the women’s groups we talked about, but if she doesn’t, I just hope she left feeling like she wasn’t alone and that she wasn’t a failure…

Let's talk about sex....

At the all-staff meeting at CCLM yesterday, one of the biggest topics that was discussed was sex education and reproductive health. The clinic is in the process of receiving funding to give free condoms and birth control as part of a CA statewide initiative (of which I can’t remember the name right now), and lots of the women connected with CCLM—mothers and grandmothers—are in quite a stir apparently. The issue, of course, is sex.

In the state of CA, at the age of 12 a child no longer needs parental permission to receive STD tests or birth control. This is not ok with the many Mexican families who use the services at the clinic and CCLM.

The parents are quite conservative, usually, and want to protect their kids. What the staff were trying to communicate to the women was that things are different in the US and that kids are having sex much earlier. Refusing to teach them about sex, STDs, and birth control won’t stop them from having sex, as much as the parents try to shield and protect them.

The clinic was asked if some of their medical assistants would go to a few of the community classes CCLM offers for women to do a presentation on reproductive health and the culture of sex among teenagers today. When the parents (and grandparents) are better educated, perhaps the kids will be, too. At least it’s a start...

That said… When a visiting high school youth group was encountered with a rape scene in a video tonight about the dangers of crossing the border, those (white, middle class) parents had a similar reaction—they wanted to protect the kids from seeing such an explicit scene. Reality didn’t matter much, they wanted to shield the young, mostly girls, from the violence. When, the truth of the matter is that 1 in 4 women experience some form of sexual assault before they’re 18—which means that many of the girls there may have either experienced sexual violence or know someone who has. It wasn’t the kids who put up the fuss about the scene, either—they’ve seen worse. It was the parents.

Now, I can appreciate wanting to shield your loved ones from danger and even in wanting your kids to stay safe and protected in a world of sexual violence, teenage pregnancy, and STDs. And yet, ignoring the issues or trying to fast forward through the messy parts of life doesn’t help kids learn to become educated, responsible, healthy adults. Instill morals—great! Tell them how you feel and what your own expectations of them are—ok. But, to let them walk in the world with no resources or tools is dangerous. We create an entire generation of at-risk youth when we send them out of our homes, schools, and churches ill-equipped to manage things in the real world.

Caught in the middle

While sitting outside with Pastor Kalke and Michael, a young staff person with the clinic and the HIV housing program, I was introduced to a new term: POCHO. As they described it to me, a pocho is someone whose parents were born in Mexico, but who was, themselves, born and/or raised in the United States. Michael described himself as a pocho.

Pochos live every day caught in between two worlds, with cultures and values that clash each other. For them, there is always a difficulty in trying to balance family, language, and tradition, with an urban American culture. An example they gave would be to check any number of the young people at CCLM’s ipods—you’d see half traditional Mexican music AND half pop/hip-hop.

This conversation struck me because it opens up a whole new world of risk to young people, particularly immigrant families. When young people have challenges maneuvering through their worlds, whether home or school/neighborhood, they are more likely to have trouble feeling like they fit in. When young people feel vulnerable like this, I’d imagine they’re more likely to turn other means of fitting in, which could be things like clubs or jobs, but can also be gangs and drugs. I mean, what do you do when neither world you live in truly understands the other, and therefore doesn’t understand you?

**In some places, pocho, I’m told, is a negative term for Mexican Americans who have lost their Mexican culture and/or who can’t speak Spanish properly. In San Bernardino, with PK and Michael it didn’t seem to have that connotation at all.

New models of ministry

This next week I'm staying at the Central City Lutheran Mission (check them out at cclm.org). I'm pretty excited about it. The Mission does a lot of work with the poor of San Bernardino, CA-- especially undocumented immigrants (mostly from Mexico). So far I'm not exactly sure what I'll be doing or where I'll get to go, but there are enough ministries at the Mission that I'm sure I won't be bored. (Already I got to experience a summer Kermes fiesta last night-- complete with children's carnival, home-made Mexican food, and traditional folk-dancing. YAY!)

But, after talking with Pastor David Kalke, I've been thinking about what ministry looks like. Apparently CCLM was an ELCA 'congregation' until 2004, when it was kicked out of the church for calling a lesbian pastor. Pastor Kalke (PK) isn't plussed about it, though, because he says the ELCA doesn't know how to do ministry within non-white communities. He says even the concept of a "congregation" is a white middle class model... For CCLM, and many ethnic communities, a parish model is what they work under-- a community based model that is about gathering together people of a particular community/neighborhood, rather than about membership at a particular place.

When we start to look at ministry as being beyond church walls and membership, we can actually meet people where they're at. And then we, as pastors and churches, can accompany people as we all work to live out the gospel and help each other to live according to the blessings and goodness God has promised us.

This is probably especially true for young people, who are unlikely to be concerned with church membership. Young people, particularly at-risk young people, want to be connected, want relationships, want change in their communities and opportunities. These things can only happen when we open our focus of ministry, from a close-knit church club model to a community oriented parish model.

Partnerships

I was thinking about the last sentence of my previous post: And hopefully she finds other people or communities outside of camp that can continue that work of building her up year-long. Executive Director Anthony Briggs talked about the importance of these partnerships, too, when we talked the other day. He said, actually, that the key to effective youth ministry anywhere is cooperation and partnerships between all of the church programs that work with youth.

He said that not only do youth-oriented ministries need to realize they are all a part of the same body of Christ and work together, but they need to realize they’re all even more closely related than that. Lutheran Outdoor Ministries (camps), Lutheran Youth Organization (LYO), campus ministry, youth and family ministry, and Christian education are all fingers on the same hand working for the uplifting and betterment of young people. And only when all of these parts work together (and stop competing for time, numbers, and resources) to provide a more holistic approach to youth ministry can truly effective youth ministry happen, especially with at-risk youth.

Especially when it comes to camp ministry, he said, camp needs to work diligently to assure pastors and youth directors that if the camp isn't strengthening the church's everyday ministry, then they're not doing their job. Camps exist to assist in the [spiritual] development of young people along with the work of churches... not to take the place of it. I think Anthony's right on!