From the top down

Last Thursday I had an incredible conversation with some young people at a local south Minneapolis church. I'd heard so much about this church's youth director and youth program from other people in the synod that I was excited to meet them. When I got there I was not disappointed.

The youth director, Tom, introduced me to three young people who are VERY active in the youth programs. He had to leave us (which was good so that they could talk freely about leadership) and we ended up talking for about an hour and a half. It was quite cool. I asked them to tell me about who they are and what they're about. I asked how long they've been members, how they found the church, and if their whole families attend. I asked about their favorite parts and their reflections on Tom and the pastoral leadership. I asked who God is for them...

What I found was that these young people were incredibly articulate and insightful. And they had a deep passion for their church and its youth programming.

The whole focus of my research is to discern more what exactly it is that brings at-risk young people to church, and what, more still, keeps them there. Though initially my interest was in searching to see if there is any curriculum or specific resources out there to engage at-risk young people, my first couple of weeks into this project are confirming what I already knew... IT'S ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS!!

It's not just about fun activities, big numbers, or cool music (although those things help attract people initially, I think), but what keeps young people coming to church is strong, healthy, positive, affirming, and empowering relationships.

That's what the youth told me on Thursday afternoon... they said their favorite part that keeps them coming is the people. One 15 year old girl said, "We're like a family here. The people'll do anything for you!" A young guy, probably about 20, said, "there's no other place to go-- it's like home." And one of the main reasons it feels like home, like a family, (a healthy, supportive family) is because of the leadership of Tom, their youth director. All three of the young people gushed with positive things to say about Tom. I asked what they loved about him and they said that two things overwhelmingly stood out about Tom: his personality (he, apparently has a great sense of humor that the kids really appreciate) and his unconditional support. They said that he's always, always there for them-- encouraging them, helping them, supporting them, and loving them. After they all went on and on in excited spurts about Tom's excellent qualities, one girl said, somewhat quietly, but matter-of-factly: "We're lucky to have him."

The young people also had positive relationships with some of the other staff. They said the senior pastor was always nice, and the young man said he appreciate that the pastor often opened his home to people in the church. The two 15 year old girls really like their female visitation pastor because she "answered all [their] questions" on some visits to Confirmation. These relationships all helped to build a place where these kids, mostly unaccompanied by parents or guardians, felt safe and wanted. The love and care shown by those in leadership at the top worked its way down into the lives of the youth, and through them out into the world where now these kids are being leaders and positive forces in their communities...

THIS is what I expected. One of the key factors in reaching at-risk young people, and helping to build safe, trusting communities, is building healthy and positive relationships.

Ok, but now let's think about how those relationships get built...