They Get It, They Really Get It... Do We?!

I had the awesome opportunity to hang out with the youth of a NW Philly congregation last night. They and their pastor Rev. Tim Poston and Youth & Family Minister Rozella Poston met with me over dinner to discuss the youth program at the church and the young peoples' experiences with the church. And I was very impressed... THEY GET IT! THEY ACTUALLY GET WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT... :-)

We had three basic questions for the kids, who were middle and high school. After introductions, first we asked about why they chose to come, and then why they've chosen to stay, at the church. Then we asked what they're "perfect" church would look like-- what changes the church could make to do/be better. Then we asked them what's hard for them in their lives. And finally, after I'd asked Pastor Poston and Rozella to leave, I asked them about the leadership at the church and how they felt their relationships with them were. And their responses were honest, creative, and insightful...

Like the other youth group I met with in Minneapolis, the young people at this church highlighted that what they liked best about the church was that it made them feel welcome. One young woman said, "Here you feel like you belong. Like you're needed. You're not just filling the pews." It's a place where everybody knows everybody and people care about each other. Another young woman said that you don't have to be "too holy" there, whereas at other churches you might have to put on airs, you can just be yourself and talk about what you need to talk about. I thought that was so insightful, especially from the 15 year old who made the comment.

For the most part, they really liked the church and didn't have too many suggestions of how to make it better. They said that it was already fine, comfortable. But, a couple of things they did highlight were: they wish the older people would respect young people more; they want the church to be filled more, especially with young people who WANT to be there; want more upbeat music in worship; and they'd like some more [youth] input in worship/music planning. All of those were excellent observations and suggestions, I thought. It shows that they have an investment in the church and want to be seen as having more responsibility in it. Very cool!

When we asked them what was hard for them, I was surprised with some of the honest answers the kids gave. They talked about how being poor was hard-- not having any food in the house, etc. That and trying to stay stable, especially with having to move a lot and keep one's life in order. Others talked about how their parents made things hard for them-- some talked about the strictness of their parents and another mentioned how it was hard b/c her dad was never around. Another girl talked about how tough it was for her after both of her parents died (at age 4 and then 11). They also talked about bullying and people picking on them. And intermixed in all of that, though not explicitly said, were references to violence in their communities, too. The area the church is in, where most of the kids live, is one of Philly's poorer neighborhoods. There's lots of violence in the area, too.

After these conversations, I asked Pastor Poston and Rozella to step out for a bit so we could finish the conversation. When they did, I asked about the kids' perceptions of the leaders. And I wasn't surprised at all by what they had to say. They said they were down-to-earth, cool, and easy to talk to. They said Pastor Poston was funny and that they loved his preaching. They said they've really loved Rozella coming to start organizing youth stuff. They said she's non-judgmental, patient (one kid said, "she's super patient-- that's probably why we didn't have youth stuff before her, because no one else could put up with us!"), persistent, firm and flexible (gives good guidelines but not lots of rules), and is a bridge. I was really interested in that last comment. They said that she's cool, like one of them, yet still respected as an adult-- which they like. About both of the Postons, the young people said that they knew they cared about them, and actually want to hear what they have to say. They give the youth respect. [A thing which both Pastor Poston and Rozella verbally repeated on a number of occasions throughout the evening: 'we love you; you're important to this church and we respect and need you.' The youth also identified other adults (some moms) in the congregation, who are always supportive and caring.

All in all, it sounds like these young people are getting what they need at the church: a safe place where they can be themselves in an environment where people love, care about, and respect them, while also meeting some of their basic needs. It was a great night!