What NOT to do...

So, this past week I've had the opportunity to juxtapose two experiences highlighting what not to do in youth ministry, and what to do...

On Sunday evening I attended the opening worship for Augsburg College's Youth Theology Institute for high school kids. Not exactly "at-risk" kids, but it gave me the opportunity to look at group dynamics and spirituality.

Well, when I arrived I was greeted by the campus pastor and the director of the program, who're both friends of mine. I didn't meet the kids, they were just filing in to the chapel and I took a seat towards the back, eventually sitting with the pastor. Then worship started. Worship was led by the youth of Redeemer Lutheran Church who do JUMP-- an urban hip-hop worship experience. The JUMP kids were really excited about their music and leadership. It was awesome to see those inner city kids taking on such a positive ministry leadership with their peers. (I kept thinking to myself-- those are the kids I wanna be talking to right now!)

Then came a time for prayer stations... I'd been asked by either the pastor or my friend to be at a prayer station, to pray with any kid who came up. I was totally fine with that, but then felt kinda bad when no one was coming up to me to pray. Almost NONE of the Augsburg high schoolers went up, whereas almost all of the JUMP folks did. Finally one of the JUMP adult leaders came to me and after him one of the high schoolers from JUMP... and that was it.

Made me realize 2 things: A) these kids didn't know me at all-- why should we have expected that they'd feel comfortable opening up and praying with me, especially on their first day, and B) these kids didn't know each other, either. Because it was their first day, perhaps they were just nervous to be with each other and didn't really trust the space yet. This was my lesson in what not to do with kids... Relationships really do matter!!

But, all was not lost. Later in the week I went back to Augsburg for their service-learning day. I joined a small group that headed out to do service work at a local catholic church that does a lot of work in the community, particularly for Latino, Native American, and Somali persons. While there I had some great conversations with the kids about their faith, about school, about their future ambitions, about why they were interested in the church and doing a program like the Youth Theology Institute, etc. And they asked me a bunch of questions about who I am and what I do.

I felt like things would be much different after that experience if I'd had the chance to do a prayer station again. Not only had the kids developed their own good group dynamic throughout the week, but several of them got to know me, making it easier for them to talk and even pray with me. That's what ministry is about... relationship building!